Rejected Interview Question and Answer - Captains of Ireland U24 Men

Click here for a rather excellent and well-structured interview by Tadhg Bogan for the ShowGame about the ambitions and aims of the Irish U24 Men's team. Honestly, do. It's well done, and this piece doesn't aim to introduce the captains or anything. So you have to if you want to understand whats going on.
Read on for all the questions considered that were considered too dull, cut for length, and/or not professional enough for the ShowGame's standards. They will be published here without much editing or thought for order, because we're too busy representing our country at the highest level/playing a silly indoor tournament (delete as appropriate for each editor) to take time for such things.

Photo from Ireland U24 Men's facebook

So what's been your own highlight of the campaign so far? (On and/or off the pitch)
Ferdia Rogers: Beating GB twice at one tournament waheeeyyyy.
Dylan Ryan: Same.
Ferdia: Beating Chevron at Tour 2 as well. To describe that game as heated, would be an understatement. Off the pitch, we've had a few great moments. When Matthew Feely (our coach) goes to demonstrate anything, he screws it up. Love that. Stick with the coaching Feely, not the playing.
Dylan: Solid performances at Tours with continuous development. Where’s the spice in these questions? Thought I was meant to bus some people!

Who's going to fare worst in the heat?

Dylan: Eoghan Cronin has been smacked by heatstroke before. Cornelius “Puddles” Sheehan also burns a lot. Ian McAuliffe is good for a ginger to be fair.
Ferdia: Yeah, my money is Brian Connelly. He got heat stroke in 2015 and I've never seen a man more out of it than he was then, he may as well have been on another planet.

Haha, who's the team hype man? 
Dylan: David Stokes. Could have got an open side score because the defender fell over, Stokes will celebrate like it is some massive layout.
Ferdia: Yeah Stokes could scream at puppies for a living. Mark Doody is the other hype man, he bases his life around memes so it's no surprise he can keep spirits high on the team.

Who's most likely to miss the start of a game?
Dylan: Everyone's actually pretty decent surprisingly.
Ferdia: Cron Hudson. He'll hate that hahah!
Tadhg: I'd have gone with Gary Gilmartin, he’d be too busy off watching a Women's game.
Dylan: Well Cron has to chaperone me and you Ferdia, so we may miss it too.
Ferdia: Poor guy.

Who's the romantic on the team?
Ferdia: Cronin.
Dylan: Ferdia. Underneath the grumpy exterior he loves the flowers and cuddles. And Cronin too.
Ferdia: Hahahaha hard shell, soft centre.
Tadhg: Or just soft in general?
Ferdia: I’ll gut you boy!

Hahaha, who's most likely to go missing during the Saturday night party?
Dylan: Puddles. Potentially impaled on a fence trying to find his way home.
Ferdia: Phil Johnston. If anyone is going to forget where he is, it's him.
"Er.. This isn't Harcourt Street??"

Who's not going to make it to the party in the first place?
Ferdia: I'd say Stokes. The man loves to go over the top in all aspects of life, partying is no exception.
Dylan : Haha, I was thinking Ian as he's gone awful soft.

And who's first to get the all-important shift that night?
Ferdia: Jack Lynch can be quite the fiend, my money's on him.
Dylan: My money is on Shane McNamara. He's a cute lad.

Haha right away from the party, who's missing their flight/not getting through security?
Ferdia: Stephen “Steej” Jones. Probably thought he didn't need to book a flight home.
Dylan: Haha I’m going to say Feely. He'll go so hard at the Saturday party and miss the Sunday morning flight.
Tadhg: I'm going to give Andrew Cleary a shout out as well, based on his track record.
Ferdia: Hahaha very true.

Right, the team is approached by a kangaroo. Who is first to run away, and who tries to fight it?
Ferdia: Ian is first to run away, without a doubt. Something so foreign would freak him out. Hummus overwhelms him sure, a kangaroo would be too much. I'd say you're the one who fights it then Tadhg. Trying to prove to Ian it's just a kangaroo, soft aul thing.
Dylan: A tiger vs a kangaroo, love it. Ian only knows cattle and sheep so ya, he might get scared.

I'll take it! Who's most likely to appear on Bondi Beach Rescue after the tournament?
Ferdia: For being a lifeguard or for near drowning?
Tadhg: Both, sure.
Dylan: Stokes would be the lifeguard. Doctor and ripped. Got a give it to him. Ian loves swimming so I reckon he may get to cocky and get swept away and need to be rescued by Stokes.
Ferdia: Yeah Stokes is a good shout. I can definitely see Leo Micklem enjoying a pair of speedos a little too much as well.

And who’s faking drowning to get some attention from a lifeguard?
Dylan: If it’s a female lifeguard I’d say Gary will chance it. Or male. You never know with Gaz.
Ferdia: Colin White, all attention is good attention.

Cool, cheers lads, thanks a million.
Ferdia: Nice one, cheers Tadhg

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